Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Freedom
One thing that I am starting to realize is that Christ frees me from having to be good and right. So many times I worry about trying to be good, about trying to make sure other people see or know that I am doing good. That can definitely be exhausting and a lot of work. Because in doing that, I am really working against the nature of things in this world. In reality, I am not good. I'm not quite sure when I'll fully realize this, but I am not good. God is good! The things I try to do on my own to be good end up failing most of the time, or at least falling short. There is a great amount of freedom in realizing that I'm not good. It takes faith to come to know that God is the good one. It's only things that God does that are truly good.
The same thing goes for trying to be right. For much of my life, I've tried to be right about anything and everything. I have been and must continue to be the smart one. However, once again, it is exhausting, not to mention impossible and limiting to always have to be right. I think this want of mine to be right has really limited me in speaking into people's lives. It has limited my ability to brainstorm and try out new things because somewhere inside me I feel the need that I have to be right in all that I do. Once again, in Christ, realizing that I don't have to be right or have all the answers is extremely freeing. I just need to know the one who is always right and knows it all. I don't have to worry about sticking up for myself and coming up with reasons why what I did was good or right. Because chances are, I was not good or right. This is freeing to know that I can be wrong and it is alright. I do not have to try to defend myself. I can admit to it and own up to it. It's just part of who I am; I am human.
Living like this is also a lesson in humility. But it's not shameful to be humble in this way, to own up to my own shortcomings and faults. It is just realizing the truth and accepting me for who I am. I think so many times it is very tough for me to accept myself. The irony is that I am potentially my best critic. I know countless ways in which I am not good and not right. It seems strange to me that I would try to put up this façade for other people that I am. The beauty of our God is that He loves and accepts me for who I am. If He, the one who created me, can accept me, I have no reason not to do that same.
Each day I just need to try my best. This is all God asks of me. It is better to fail trying than to fail not trying. This is the freedom in Christ's sacrifice. He died so that I can live my best and try my best in following him. Christ has freed me from the need to focus on all the rules. He has freed me from the need to reach a certain quota or to be good enough. All God asks me to do is to believe in the one He has sent. God asks me to do my best in loving Him and other people.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
You Were There
I’m not really sure how to start talking about this and what I’ve pulled away from it without it sounding like a random hodgepodge of ideas smashed together. Of course, the overall theme or message of the song is that God was there…but He wasn’t just there, He was/is there ALWAYS. I think it’s sort of hard to personalize the stories in the Bible, and realize that the same God that was working, moving, and speaking to David and Abraham IS the same God who is working, moving, and speaking to me.
“You were there in the midst of the unclear…You were there when obedience seemed to not make sense…” – For me these two lines are what I realize I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. There is so much of God that doesn’t make sense. There is so much that he asks us to do where we don’t want to follow.
- - Baptism doesn’t make sense.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I should do the forgiveness project, I don’t have a problem with forgiveness.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I should have to forgive at all.
- - It doesn’t make sense that as I guy I should have stronger male friendships then female friendships.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I should always question and check scripture after hearing a sermon or advice from a friend.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I need to ask advice at all.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I should try to talk to random people about faith/religion.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I should give up my Spring Break to serve people.
- - It doesn’t make sense why I have to give any of my money to God/others.
I could go on and on, but it goes back to: “So haven’t I learned that my ways aren’t as high as Yours are...You are God and though we would not have understood You, there You were.”
How is God still with us when we’re in the midst of danger? How is God with us in the midst of the unclear? How is God with us when obedience seemed to not make sense?
The lines that create the most vivid pictures in my head are: “You ALONE keep the universe from crumbing into dust…[and still]…You would RATHER die than leave us in the dark.” This is the reason He is always there. This is the reason we need to reach out to be comforted by Him when all else seems to be crumbling. This is why we need to be obedient even when things are unclear and when being obedient to HIM doesn’t make sense.
It still boggles me why a God who is SOOO much larger than the universe, who keeps it from crumbling into dust, would EVER come down to this earth, to limit Himself so greatly, to allow Himself to be butchered blamelessly on a cross. This is the greatest reason that we should do absolutely EVERYTHING He desires.
Going back to what I mentioned in the beginning about the God in the Bible being the same as the God of today, the last stanza of the song to me is just a Beautiful picture of who God REALLY IS. I think each of those statements are truly, so profound.
- - He was there during history’s darkest hour
- - He was there ALWAYS
- - He was the Victor and the King
- - He was the power in David’s swing
- - He was the calm in Abraham
- - He is the God who understands
- - He is the strength when we have none
- - He is the living, Holy One
- - He was, He is, and He will always be The Risen Lamb of God
Here is one last random thought: It is so easy to miss seeing God at work. It is so easy to look at people today and stories in the Bible long ago and say they are such great people because they follow God and were obedient and did great things. I think the moment we think THAT, we have missed the reason why we were created, we have missed the meaning of our existence. In every situation where someone has been obedient to God or has followed Him, we really should be seeing God in that and them. We should be praising HIM.
Melissa was baptized this last Thursday! It was wonderful that she was willing to share that with her friends, and I wouldn’t trade being there for anything. But something Brandon said struck me...he said something to the affect of, “We have been saying great things and encouraging Melissa; however, we cannot miss who we should be truly praising and glorifying tonight. We should be praising God because He would CHOOSE to save someone like Melisa. We should be praising God because He would CHOOSE to save people like us.”
I guess that hit me because I don’t know if thoughts like that were even passing through my head that night. It’s the same when we sit together and someone asks, “Where have you seen God working?” and everyone sits quietly. When I think about it later, it hurts me so much that I cannot or do not think of many ways I’ve seen God working. There are two possibilities for this. It is either, one, because I am not really trying to see where God has been working. I see things for their face value and do not see that God is behind them in the first place. Or, second, because I am not really participating much in Christ’s mission. I DON’T KNOW what God looks like or how God really works.
Those are slightly scary thoughts for me, but it is so comforting to know that even in the midst of me thinking those thoughts and even in the midst of my every move, God IS and will ALWAYS BE THERE!
You Were There
Avalon
I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight
'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, You brought a lamb
'Cause You were there,
You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there
So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You
There You were
Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath
You were there, You were there
During history’s darkest hour
You were there, You were there always
You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands
You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
the Risen Lamb of God
You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Worldliness
- Drinking Beer
- Mixed Swimming
- Wearing Lipstick
- Listening to Marilyn Manson
- Striving for Church Membership Goals
- Wearing Nice Dress at Church
- Nightclubs
- Smoking
- Running a Red Light
- Buying a Car
- Missing Church to Watch Sporting Events
- Hanging Out w/ Worldly People
- Playing Golf
- Dancing
- Playing Cards
- Video Games
- Watching Ultimate Fighting on TV
- Watching "Sex and the City"
- Going to Work Happy Hours
- Striving for a Job Promotion
(Ok, so I listed all of them.) But when I began looking at just about each of these...it became difficult to put them into categories. I, as a Christian, like things to be black and white, like people to be in or out, like things to be clear cut, like things to be right and wrong. However, in the world we live in, in the complex world God created, that is just not entirely possible.
In our world, anything listed up there would be normal. But something that stayed with me from Brandon's talk last Sunday was that we, as Christians, are not called to live normally. Jesus did not live a normal life. I, as a Christian, try to fit in with the world. I try to do things a little differently, because I am a Christian, but if an objective person were to look at my life from the outside, would they see much difference. (I think in certain areas, he would, but I can list many more where I look exactly the same.) I participate in the same activities, I think the same thoughts, I have the same fears, I like the same things, I say the same things, I live a lot of the same life. However, as a Christian, I should really stand out, I believe. Not in a bad way, per se, but in a way so that people see that I am truly different. I should live in a way that makes people curious as to why I act differently. What is different about me? I can tell you what's different about me...JESUS!
I've thought about most of this before; however, for some reason when I thought about it tonight in regards to the word "Worldly" it seems to resonate differently. What in the world does worldly mean? Christians, I, use it all the time, even to my eventual disgust. (I don't know if that's valid or not, but for some reason, I have begun to not like words like "worldly" or "lost". I am not entirely sure why. I think because many times they are used as blanket terms that sound good in Christian eyes. However, when I really think about them, like the word "worldly" tonight, I begin to wonder....."What in the world does that really mean anyway? What is worldliness? What does it look like to be worldly?")
So looking at the list Strauder made, I thought about the day I had today. I wondered what actions of mine were worldly today. (Or rather because I don't like to think too much, I thought, I really should think about what I've done today and try to analyze if the things I did today were worldly or Godly. I haven't actually done that.) And sometimes I, as a Christian, can try to analyze things too much or rather I should analyze something too much, but I'll do it later. I wonder what God wants me to do?-
Asking that questions sort of hit me...why don't I always ask that question? Should I need to ask that question as often as it seems I need to? Or because I "am spending daily time with God and know His character" should I already know what he wants me to do? Regardless of the answers to those questions, my definition of whether an activity is worldly or not might should be, does God want me doing this? And maybe instead of asking if something is worldly, maybe I should be asking if something is sinful (missing the mark)?
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A couple of hours later...
I was reading 1 Samuel. I ran across this passage, 1 Samuel 8:19-20:
But the people refused to listen to Samuel. "No!" they said. "We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles."
I just thought that was interesting.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
How Did Jesus Do It (Part 2)
Melissa's comment:
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The fact that (some) sinners were drawn to Jesus makes perfect sense to me. Picture yourself living in a land where almost everybody hated/condemned people for being an adulterer/tax collector/something else socially unacceptable and then Jesus comes along and isn't a jerk like everyone else... it seems kinda obvious to me that you would want to be around him. Add in the excitement of him telling the leaders of the day that they were buttheads and not nearly as smart as they thought they were. That must've been a pretty sweet sight for the outcasts.
This could be a really interesting discussion if more people actually commented....
And here is my "response" stemming from her comment...
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I had never quite thought about it how you put it, about how everyone is rejecting these people, and there is one person who doesn't! I began to picture that...and OF COURSE I would be drawn to that one person, that one person who sees me as someone else, someone who I know I'm not. Somehow he sees something else in me, something that no one else sees. I would want to do anything to live up to that person's expectation of me, to not let Him down, to not disappoint Him anymore than I already have or could do, to try to prove to Him and myself that I can do it. I'm not who I appear to be...I can be better, I promise. Thank you for believing in me, I don't understand how you can.
Yeah, I can picture EXACTLY how they were drawn to Jesus.
I guess my question is...HOW do I do that for other people? I guess really, it's simple, LOVE them, care for them, see in them what they can be, not who they are now (have a vision for them). Spend time with them, share my life with them, tell them the truth, share Christ with them. I know those things...but do I do them? Can I do better? Do I just not see where I do these in my life?
That list up there is still generalities and not specifics applied to specific people. Why can't the Bible just say, Chris go and do this or be this for this person? That's where the Spirit comes in, if I am able and do listen to him, that is where the specifics will come.
I guess I've answered some of my questions (through rapid jumping), but for some reason that doesn't feel good enough. I know many of the answers. What comes after that? Putting the answers into action....(sigh)...
Slow Fade
So it came to the song "Slow Fade". For some reason, I stopped and began to think about this song. And at that moment, I thought, I need to write a blog about it! So I will pause for a little while and figure out what I need to write...
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(Me pausing...possibly for several hours/days...I have to go play Volleyball at 10...:-) )
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As Casting Crowns wrote about this song, "This was inspired by the spreading cancer of moral failure in the fathers of this generation. As believers, we must guard our hearts and understand that no one crashes and burns. They just slowly fade away one little compromise at a time."
I do not take quite as specific of a message from this song, most likely because I'm not a father. But what they say in this song really makes sense, "People never crumble in a day." It is a pattern of evil thoughts and a pattern of unwise choices and actions that leads to a destructive lifestyle and essentially to destruction. Not just one.
This pattern of slow decay can be very deceiving. As we live out our daily lives, those small "insignificant" thoughts and choices do not appear to be making changes within us. However, they all add up to build and shape who we are. Have you ever just been going about life and looked up and noticed something (or someone), and thought...Woahh...this is (you are) different, when did this (you) change? We tend to not notice the small things and even begin to accept them as normal. It's like if you were concentrating on something and someone next to you were to take one small step away from you every few minutes. For quite a while, you'd probably not realize that they have even moved away at all. But when you take a break and look up, you realize they are across the room.
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This clip from The Office does not completely apply, but I was wanting to find a way show it in a post. In this scene Jim simply asked Dwight if he wants an altoid after his computer beeps...something very insignificant. Over time, Dwight becomes accustomed to this and at one point has no clue why he is craving an altoid and reaching his hand out to grab one from Jim.
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The same thing happens in our spiritual life. We make one small choice not to spend time with God today. It's only one day...out of a possible 31,025 days in our life. That's NOTHING, just 0.003% of our life. (And when we compare that to eternity, it doesn't matter!) However, it is SOOO easy for that one day to turn into another day, another week, another month: and the slow fade has begun. This happens with so many things, spiritual and otherwise. I sleep through or skip class this one day. I don't need to meet with this person this week. I'm busy tonight...I'll just not go to Core this one week. I really want to tell this joke, but it's not appropriate...just this one time. I know I've procrastinated now, but I'll do better. I'll spend just a little more money this month on eating out or on myself. It's just one night of looking at pornography on the Internet, I'm not going to make a habit out of it. I'm just tired tonight...I'll make sure I pray twice tomorrow. I'll make sure to tell Jonathan about Jesus next time I see him. I don't need to call and talk to my family today...I'll do it later. I can get serious about God in the summer when I don't have to worry about exams.
All of those things start out small, but it is incredibly easy for them to snowball out of control. We will not realize it at first. Once something has already been done, most times it is increasingly easier to do it again. Once you've done something twice, more times than not, it's easier to do it a third time. However, one day, weeks/months done the line, we'll look up and think, "Why am I here?!!!??!?!" This is why in Proverbs it mentions how important it is to keep your foot from evil, to not even take one step that is not on God’s path. It is important that we fix our gaze on Christ.
Proverbs 4:23-27 -- Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips. Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix your gaze directly before you. Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm. Do not swerve to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.
In the same vein, the "slow fade" can occur in another way as well. It can be good. I wish that once a person starts believing in Jesus or "becomes a Christian" that they could just be perfect. I wish that for myself. I wish that I could just get things done right the first time without any practice or grief or making mistakes. However, this is NOT the case, we cannot just go from living for ourselves to living for Christ overnight. It takes time. That’s why Jesus said, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross DAILY and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it (Luke 9:23-24)."
This is frustrating as well as a great encouragement. It’s frustrating because I look at my life and the only things I do daily are breathing and eating and sometimes many times sleeping… But it’s encouraging because if you’re not where you want to be, just like I mentioned in a post a few weeks ago, it simply requires you taking small steps toward your goal or taking small steps toward becoming who you want to be. As I mentioned above, once something has already been done, most times it is increasingly easier to do again it again. Once you've done something twice, more times than not, it's easier to do it a third time.
Now, all that said, I think most of that is the result of what this song is talking about. The actions produced from it. The keys lines in the song are “Be careful little eyes what you see/Be carefully little ears what you hear.” (And the more action parts “Be careful little feet where you go/Be careful little lips what you say.”) But it is so important that we watch what we are taking into our body. Of course in the physical sense that’s important to stay healthy, making sure you’re eating the right things, not staring into the sun, etc… But even more so, it’s important for our spiritual lives as well. We have to make sure we’ve “eating” and “staring” at the right things to make sure that our spiritual body is healthy. We must be careful what we are watching on TV, in movies, on the computer, other people. Just watching something harmful does not typically produce an action right there. But through a continual pattern, our mind begins to become filled with these images, and they are all we can think about! All the violence and sex and dirty joking and lies about how life works and lies about what we should be doing DO begin to affect us whether we realize it or not. (And I know y’all’ve heard that many times.
We must be careful what we listen to. I think this most directly applies to who we choose to listen to, not necessarily what we choose to listen to, as far as music or what not, which is usually what I hear this applied to. Lies are so easy to believe. Lies that people spread about others whom they are angry at or envious of. Lies meant to bring division. Lies, claiming to be God’s truth and God’s Word. Satan is a master at spreading these lies through the world and through the body of Christ as well. “[Satan] was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies (John 8:44).” However on the surface, these lies are not exposed. “Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light (II Corinthians 10:8).” It is much easier to believe them. And while one lie, about someone, what they did is not going to make that much difference. But that begins the slow fade. These things we take in can and will eventually come out of us and will turn into actions. “What comes out of a man is what makes him ‘unclean.’ For from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance, and folly. All these evils come from inside and make a man ‘unclean (Mark 7:20-23).’ “ These simple things we see and hear, turn into thoughts, affect our hearts, and come out in our actions.
(I might write more or edit this a bit later, but I wanted to get it posted...)
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(And just for y'all, I've pulled some strings and hopefully done something not too illegal. Since I can't upload songs, I made a "blank" video with the song....I can upload those!)
"Slow Fade"
Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Relaxation, It's a Curious Thing...At Least for Me (Wait that's the first "sentence", and this title is long!)
However, like I said, I think my definition of relaxation is a bit off. According to the dictionary, relaxation is a form of activity that provides a change and relief from effort, work, or tension, and gives pleasure. It can also mean a lessening of something that was previously intense. When I look at this, the first thing that jumps out to me is the word activity. So relaxation is a form of activity, one that provides change, relief, and pleasure.
Looking back over the past few years, I have come to realize that at the end of the day, the days I feel the best after are the ones that I have been the most busy or rather the most productive. The day itself may have been stressful, but it is a good feeling when I’ve accomplish something or completed/done something that is challenging or what I consider beyond my means. (Which when I think about it, even unproductive, busy days feel better than days I have absolutely nothing to do. This is especially true at work.)
So when I combine these two thoughts on, relaxation and busy/productive days, I see that maybe my days of relaxation should be “filled” which activities. The other component of relaxation is where it says relaxation should give pleasure. So these activities should be things that I enjoy doing that bring about change and relief. Perhaps this should exactly include being busy, but include projects or things I have been wanting to work on for a while but haven’t had time. And this relaxation can happen for just a day or two or part of a day. It doesn’t need to be for weeks at a time. (And especially looking at life after school, that is what relaxation is going to have to be…no more summer and winter break or even Spring Break for that matter.) I have just come to realize that being lazy all day, waking up at noon or later is just not too attractive to me anymore. It feels nice at the time, but later on, I begin to regret it. And some of this goes back to just not being as selfish with my time and trying to use it to please God, for His kingdom.
(I have a feeling I am suppose to be writing about my Core on this blog a bit too. “Next week” I will try to do just that!)
Friday, March 7, 2008
How did Jesus do It?
I have had this in my mind for a week or two and at different times I have wanted write more about this but I think I'll just mention it right now. I just don't understand how Jesus could be such a friend of sinners. I've heard this soo many times that Jesus is a friend of sinners and that's great and all, but He was perfect! How could he feel comfortable to be around people with disgusting lives? He must have really, really loved them. That must be it, but what does that look like in practice? I think how uncomfortable I feel when I am around people doing things that I don't approve or that I think are bad/evil. I wonder if that's how Jesus felt, very uncomfortable and wanting to just leave their presence. If He felt that, He sure didn't listen to it. What is even more remarkable to me, is that "sinners" (well some of them) loved being around Jesus. (Maybe it wasn't exactly that, but they were absolutely drawn to Him, and their lives were definitely changed.) That again doesn't completely makes sense to me
I guess my whole life I have not really had friends who were too controversial or friends just did bad things. Most of my friends have been in some way Christian. Those are the people I like being around, those are the people I spend time around. No "sinners" are drawn to me it seems. (Albeit, I'm not Jesus...even if Christ is in my name. ;-) ) Should some people like that be drawn to me or want to be around me or have their lives changed by being around me? What does that look like? Is it less obvious but more little encounters that when all put together add to something?
I guess some of these thoughts come to me when I think about challenging people to live more of their lives for God and to help them try to see things that are in their life that should not be there. I am not too great at this and at times have a tough time figuring out what the issue is at the heart of someone actions. It is just Amazing to me how Jesus did this! Of course, Jesus did pay a price for this. There were those that were drawn to him and loved being around him, but there were also those who had the opposite reaction. Jesus definitely polarized people. But, I guess that's when people truly experience Him in some amount.
That's all for now, I suppose. I'll hopefully write soon about what I was actually thinking today.